Hypnobirthing - A Dad’s Perspective
I was so lucky to meet Chelsea and Blair in March this year when they took the leap of faith to join me for The Positive Birth Program. I have to admit I knew that Blair had been “dragged” into this and it was obvious I had my work cut out to convince him! In our first session I could see the uncertainty wash over him when I said “let’s watch a birth video”. The funny thing is, this is not unusual. More often than not, it is the male side kicks who are the hardest to rope in. I get it, the name hypnobirthing sounds like ‘hippie-dippie-nonsense’ and so many partners (mainly men) are somewhat skeptical, to say the least. They often come to classes out of ‘duty’ rather than any real desire to see what hypnobirthing is all about.
I receive emails regularly with pregnant mum’s saying they want to do the course “but my partner, is just not sold”. I get it, it’s really not something that your typical kiwi bloke is signing up for. But thank f**k times are changing and the role partners/men have in the birth arena is changing too. Not only does birth and the transition into parenthood affect the birthing woman for her lifetime but it also affects her partner, their relationship and the way they both emerge as “mum and dad”.
Read how Blair went from thinking hypnobirthing was all about chakras and chanting, to instead realising that it gave him a very real understanding of how birth works and his role in the birth experience. When this email hit my inbox I instantly knew it was the news that Chelsea and Blair’s baby girl had arrived. I breathed deeply, prayed that it was news of empowered parents and clicked to receive this…
Hi Andi,
At 9:41pm on the 21st April Chelsea and I welcomed our baby girl Bailey Quinn Pedersen into the world. Both mum and baby are doing well.
When Chelsea told me a few months ago we would be attending your hypnobirthing class I laughed until I realized she was being serious and then I was just plain p***** off. After the first session I was talking to Chelsea about the class, she smiled, and knew you had got me.
Our birth was not a text book birth but I took away and used so many parts of what we learnt in the Hypnobirthing course. Creating our space the way we wanted it; soft touches, techniques to breathe properly and finding a happy place were the key bits I felt we used. Everything else I translated to "it is what it is" and "we are going to roll with the punches". In the birthing room I was calm and excited knowing that Chelsea could and would do it when her body was ready.
In your class you noted it was quite difficult sometimes to get dads on board with the signing up for Hypnobirthing. I get it, for me keeping calm in a room of people typically won't work, but I did find the clarity of mind and breathing were quite similar to that of breathing up for a freedive.
Anyway just wanted to say thanks because for this dad you made a difference.
Cheers,
Blair Pedersen
I am so thankful for Blair’s honesty and all the incredible parents that I get to work with. It is Blair’s hope (and mine) that this will help another Dad to see that pregnancy and labour is not only something a woman has an active role in, but her partner too. Let’s change the deeply engrained cultural and societal believes around men and birth. Let’s be proud to support women, let’s remove the fear from thousands of generations before us and let’s embrace the most magnificent rite of passage.
